The following contains spoilers for S5E04, “Chapter Eighty-Five,” of Jane the Virgin.
Let’s cut to the chase. I can’t handle this show and the possibility that Jane and Rafael might not end up together.
While it felt so, so, so good to see Michael and have him back, it also made me so angry. I loved seeing him and Jane catching up, I love that he was so proud of her for being a published freaking author, but I couldn’t stop screaming at the TV for them to STOP. I knew Jane would catch those feelings as soon as they were encouraged and it was so. frustrating.
I wanted Petra to yell at him at the end and make him leave. I don’t want him in the picture. I just want Jane and Raf to be together and have that time to just be a normal freaking family without something crazy going down.
Jane going back and forth deciding if she should mail the divorce papers drove me up the freaking wall. Like, GIRL. MAIL THEM. BE HAPPY. YOU GRIEVED. WE ALL GRIEVED. YOU MOVED ON. WE MOVED ON. BE WITH RAF.
I loved every Petra moment we got this episode (specifically when she told Jane to be done with Michael). Her and Jane’s friendship is my favorite thing in the world. And I’m SO. HAPPY. that she made up with J.R. Her mother though? I wish she would disappear.
There were quite a few heartbreaking moments in this episode. The most powerful being when Xiomara fainted at Mateo’s Grandparent’s Day event. My heart stopped and I was so terrified it was something super serious. Thankfully it was just dehydration from pushing herself too hard with her and Mateo’s performance. When she explained to Rogelio why she pushed herself, so Mateo could remember her that way if the chemo doesn’t work? I couldn’t control my crying. I love Xiomara so much and if things don’t go right for her at the end of this season, I will be so upset.
What broke my freaking heart next was Alba getting her hopes up when it came to Jorge. I just want the queen to be happy and in a relationship with him and I just want him to be in love with Alba and I want them both to be upfront about their freaking feelings. Alba has done so much for Jorge and I feel like that isn’t being reciprocated, whether or not he has feelings for her. Jorge’s just kinda there as of right now and it’s annoying me. I JUST WANT HIM TO LOVE ALBA. SEEING HER FACE WHEN HE SAID HIS SISTER HELPED HIM WRITE THE LETTERS HURT ME. I WAS ATTACKED.
The next heartbreaking moment was Rafael realizing and reliving every time Jane chose Michael over him. It hurt, because it’s the truth. Ultimately, the only reason Jane ended up with Raf was because Michael was literally dead and that HURTS because I want her to choose Raf for once. I’m hoping beyond hope that that is what’s going to happen by the end of this season: in a big moment, snow included, Jane will look at Raf and tell her she chooses him, even with her having the choice of Michael.
And that scene of Raf realizing he’s never been chosen led into the scene of him telling that to Jane and basically kicking her out, tied with Mateo saying he doesn’t want to leave, he wants to stay with Raf. Gina Rodriguez is such an incredible actress and always moves me to tears. I was sobbing during this scene and it was such a shocking and powerful way to end the episode.
So here we are. Back in a freaking love triangle. THIS is my worst nightmare. I shouldn’t be surprised though, this is a telenovela after all.